Everyone encounters annoying, challenging or even stressful situations in the course of his or her life. Basically, you always have three ways of dealing with such situations. Ask yourself the following three questions:

1. Can you accept the situation as is and develop a friendly attitude towards it – simply because it is the way it is? If you succeed in doing that, it will no longer bother you as much.
   
   If you don’t succeed in doing so ...
    
2. Is there anything you can do to change it? If so, then you should do it, so that it no longer bothers you. And if you cannot change the actual situation – can you change your attitude towards it?
   
   If you don’t succeed in doing that, either ...
    
3. How can you leave the situation? Because if you cannot accept it and take a friendly, accepting attitude towards it and you cannot change the situation or your attitude – then the last option is to leave the situation.

Because you always have a choice: If you decide for something, then at the same time you decide against something else. Opportunity costs, so to speak. You pay a price with each choice. If you go to the left, the price you pay is not being able to go to the right – and vice versa. It is basically the same all the time: You always have a choice.

The decision lies with you

Every day you have the choice of getting up, going to work, and doing the things you love or for which you get paid – or you can choose to stay in bed because it’s so warm and cozy. You actually have that choice. If you decide to go to work, the price you have to pay is that you cannot spend the day in bed. If you decide to stay in bed and not go to work, there is also a price. You may have to endure an unpleasant conversation with your boss. You may have to listen to probing questions if your colleagues want to know why you did not come to work. Perhaps the whole episode even has negative consequences for your continued employment – and on and on.

One thing becomes clear when you look at it this way: there are rarely constraints. In most cases, there are only decisions to make. Therefore, when you are saying, “I can’t,” in many cases the correct statement would actually be, “I really could if I wanted to. But I am not prepared to pay the price that this decision would entail.” This view immediately puts you in the “driver’s seat.” Then you are no longer a victim of circumstances, but self-determined and responsible for your life. Because you know that you can decide differently at any time if your price comparison allows you to do so.