Properly show appreciation

On the other hand, I frequently hear from leaders that they want to show their employees appreciation and they do so with the best intentions, but they feel that it is not received by the employees.

The difficulty: Appreciation is something very individual. Basically, one has to realize that we human beings have all essential basic needs, which we strive to fulfill and to satisfy. In neuroscience, there is a model called  "SCOAP" that describes these 5 essential human basic needs very well.

The 5 essential basic needs of human beings

The "S" in 'SCOAP" stands for self-esteem. "C" stands for control, therefore, autonomy or opportunities to exert influence.  "O" is for orientation. "A" stands for attachment, and "P" signifies pleasure.

Everyone has his own "basic need-mix"

We all have these basic needs. They are evolutionary and have been formed throughout evolution. Each of us has a different mix in terms of expressing these needs, however. The need for solidarity may be more pronounced for one person, while for others the need for autonomy, for orientation or for pleasure may be more pronounced. Therefore, based on the individual mix, each person also has different expectations or notions regarding appreciation in the workplace.

If a leader proceeds exclusively from his own needs and conveys appreciation to the employees based on himself, this does not have the same effect on all employees. With some it is successful – specifically with those who have a similar need-mix. With others, however, not at all. You cannot catch all with this watering-can principle.

Objective: individual appreciation

The objective should therefore be to show employees the appreciation that they need individually. As when watering plants, which do not each have the same requirements in order to grow and to flourish.  

One employee receives special appreciation by regular positive feedback. Another employee needs maximum scope of action and freedom in his work. It is therefore about individuality. Of course, this makes the whole thing more complex and not necessarily easier. To be truly effective as a leader, however, you must know your employees. To do so, you must be in dialog with them. You must take the time for discussions and give this issue a high priority.

Go into dialog

Think about where you extrapolate too much from yourself to others with regard to appreciation. To do this, open the dialog with your employees and address the issue: "What does appreciation mean to you? What does appreciation not mean? What are your notions and expectations?"

You can also simply pull your team together some day, however, and talk for a moment about the issue of appreciation. Thus, you turn the parties concerned into participants. This always makes sense, when it comes to promoting commitment and motivation within a team and in the case of individual employees. Good luck with your next appreciative discussions.