“I really don’t know how I come across to others, and sometimes I’m asking myself whether I come across as I would like to.” Managers ask themselves whether their staff really perceives them as they hope and believe. I am happy whenever a client poses me this question, because it shows that there a fairly high degree of awareness about the problem, or self-reflection, or capability for reflection exists already. The person is at least allowing for the possibility that his or her self-concept is not 100% in agreement with the perceptions of others. 

It’s more difficult with leaders who lack an appreciation of the problem. They discourage or frustrate their colleagues with their behavior but are in no way aware of this. But in order to maximize your own effectiveness as a leader, the goal must be to have the most realistic self-concept possible or, in other words, to achieve the highest possible degree of congruence between your sense of self and others’ perceptions. The goal: have the fewest possible blind spots in your own behavior. 

The crux of the problem with blind spots in your own behavior
Imagine that you are going somewhere in your car. You drive on the highway and look in the outside mirror because you intend to change lanes. You see that the lane is free and turn on your blinker to change lanes. All the same, a vehicle approaches in this lane just as you are wanting to switch lanes. You couldn’t see it because it was in your blind spot. Yet everyone else around you could see: you’re about to crash.

It works in much the same way with our behavior. There are things that we do and say that we are not cognizant of, or that have effects on others that we are oblivious to – that are very much noticed by others, though. For example, things that discourage, frustrate, irritate. But … if no one tells you, then how are you supposed to know it?

Effective antidote: feedback
Therefore, one of the most effective remedies for blind spots is the collection of feedback. Gathering feedback. Starting up a dialogue and creating a culture in which everyone can give one another feedback on behavior and achievement in a climate of trust and mutual appreciation. Ideally 360° - between and among everyone. That frequently is accompanied by a very strong “mistakes culture.” Of course, a mistakes culture does not mean that we make a lot of mistakes. Rather, you have a mistakes culture if the dominant culture is that nobody needs to fear that admitting a mistake will lead to being chastised. It is a culture in which everyone openly and transparently says “Look, the following happened to me and I have a problem. What can I do? What can we learn from this? How can we make sure that it won’t happen again in the future?”

Everything is directly correlated. If you are the leader, I would like to encourage you to ask your own staff for feedback. Your people will recognize that you take it seriously, that you genuinely accept it and that you will do something with it. Inherent in this is that feedback be given thoughtfully and in a methodical and proper manner. Here, too, there are important approaches that should be incorporated, so that someone who is properly given critical feedback receives it thankfully, as a gift, and does not stand up and leave the room hurt or offended.

Create this readiness
In order to set an example for a feedback culture, you first need to have a willingness to obtain feedback. Secondly, you need to encourage staff to give one another feedback. And third, you need the corresponding feedback competency – in other words, the ability to give feedback correctly and professionally.

This is what it looks like in daily practice
The best approach is to give feedback not just once per year, during the annual appraisal, but rather continually, as part of the daily routine. After a meeting, after a presentation, sit down together briefly and hold a debriefing that involves mutual feedback.

You can do all of this in a more formal way, in the form of a structured 360° feedback system. 360° feedback is frequently supported with online tools. At the beginning of a leadership development or coaching process, you can use this as the basis for choosing one or two development areas which you will then develop together with your coach over the next few months.

I wish you much success in giving and receiving feedback and cutting back your blind spots.

Post-Text:
If you want to know how you come across at your employees or colleagues.